Moving out of state in your twenties can feel like a fresh new start full of excitement and adventure. No matter what your reason is for moving, the process can be both exhilarating and stressful. We have moved to three different states together and know what it’s like to feel unprepared. So, we created this guide to hopefully provide you with a few things to consider for a smooth transition! You deserve to find moments of peace and rest during your process. We’ll cover everything from the planning and logistics of the move to settling in and feeling at home in your new space.
Part 1. Preparing for the Move
1.1 Reflect on Why You’re Moving Out of State
What is motivating your move out of state? Is it for work, a partner, school, or just because you want to? All of these reasons are valid for why you might want to relocate. With this said, challenges and unexpected changes may come up.
Reflect on the benefits and potential challenges of moving states at this stage in your life. We like to make a pro/con list when we’re looking into a big move and compare that list with other potential states. Then we dive deeper into which town(s) fit our finances, have things we want to do/explore, have a decent food/bar scene, and are dog friendly. Write down some things that are must-haves and research what places have options for you to check out.
1.2 Researching Your Destination
Your potential cities or towns should be based on factors that contribute to how you live your life such as job opportunities, cost of living, climate, and lifestyle. If you enjoy a low cost of living, going on weekly hikes in the mountains, and having long winters, you might not want to live in states like Florida or Texas.
Find online resources, forums, and social media groups to gather insights from current locals and other young adults who have made similar moves. Be mindful while looking on social media or forums though, since they can sometimes have very biased opinions on an area that do not reflect the full picture.
1.3 Financial Planning
Create a budget that accounts for moving expenses, including transportation (gas, moving truck, snacks, car maintenance), housing deposits, and fees when setting up your new home’s utilities. It also doesn’t hurt to have savings in the case anything happens. For example: 4 days before we were supposed to move from Washington to Colorado, Khali was T-boned in our car on their way to work. We had to get a rental car, deal with an insurance claim, and focus on what Khali needed for healing. This event changed the entire trajectory of how we were going to move! And Khali is still in the process of healing.
Also consider factors like new taxes, vehicle registration, and any adjustments with your new state/town’s cost of living. Again, having a savings account built up might provide you with more reassurance and comfort when entering a new space. We personally tried to have 3 months worth of projected expenses saved before we made the move, but others may suggest to save more or less. We are not financial advisors. For more information regarding finances, check out resources like this financial guide for moving out of state.
1.4 Looking Into Employment Opportunities
Search for job opportunities that may cover your expenses when moving out of state. Some companies will cover most, if not all, of the moving costs. If you’re moving to an area where the cost of living for a single person supersedes what your income will be, try looking for a roommate or be prepared to potentially have a second job. Don’t feel ashamed if you need to leverage online job boards, utilize professional networks such as LinkedIn, or pursue help from career services. The current economy is a rough one – have grace for yourself and don’t settle for less than what you want. More on this another time!
Part 2: Organizing the Move
2.1 Decluttering and Packing
Wanting to move as little as possible? Consider what you’d like to bring with you versus what you’ll buy once you have moved into your new home.
We have utilized storage units, donated our items, sold our stuff, and, inevitably, lost some of our things. We are grateful for friends and family who have helped us move. Some of our loved ones have held onto items that didn’t fit into our car. Others have helped us physically move into storage units or have gifted us financial support for gas. We love our community and are grateful for their support during intense periods of change.
As you’re packing, remember to meet your basic needs as you do so. If you haven’t eaten, you will not enjoy packing. If you haven’t taken a break from talking about the move, you will not enjoy packing. If you haven’t taken a walk or touched grass all day, you will not enjoy packing. Take a breath, slow down, and tune in to yourself. Figure out what works for you and prioritize meeting your basic needs to the best of your ability.
2.2 Choosing a Moving Method
Figuring out how you’ll get your things from point A to point B can be the most stressful part of the move, but there are a few different options. You can compare costs between hiring professional movers, renting a moving truck and driving, utilizing shipping services, or doing what we did – packed our car with what would fit and drove! Khali came up with the amazingly practical idea of mapping out the dimensions of our car in our living space. This method of organizing has helped us during multiple moves. It allows for lots of rearranging without moving things to and from the car all day.
Although we don’t have a full breakdown of the costs of our move from Washington to Colorado, we know it’s what worked best for us. Once we got to our new home, we chose to buy things as we needed them. This helped us figure out what we really needed versus what we wanted.
2.3 Handling Administrative Tasks
Once you’ve figured out what your new address will be, don’t forget to update your address through your bank(s), insurance providers, and other necessary places. You can also set up a forwarding address through USPS so that your mail will end up at your new address. This is especially helpful around tax time for tax documents!
Research what legal requirements your new state has for new residents such as getting a new driver’s license, vehicle registration, and how to obtain residency. You can usually find this information on your local DMV website.
Write things down!!! We take notes about our lives in this household. Sharing events in our Google calendars, updating our wall calendar, and leaving notes for each other on the counter have been so helpful! Adapt your communication with those around you to meet your needs. Communication is really important during big moves like this. If you have a partner, remember this process is temporary and listen to each other. Check-in and discuss updates with each other as your move progresses.
Part 3: Settling Into Your New Environment
3.1 Finding Temporary Accommodation (if necessary)
If you want to check out the area before fully moving out of your current state, or if you have some time before signing a lease, you can look into short-term housing options such as sublets, temporary rentals, or extended-stay hotels. This may help you determine if that specific town and/or area is a good fit for you.
Another option is to try house-sitting or staying with friends or family in your desired area. We are very grateful to have family in Colorado that we could visit and house-sit for during the summers. In our experience we had multiple visits over a 2-3 year span and felt like Colorado was a good fit for what we wanted out of a new home.
3.2 Setting Up Essential Services
Setting up utilities may need to be completed before you officially move into your new home. This may be electricity, water, gas, trash services, internet, and/or cable services. If you’re renting, check your lease to see what is included in your rent (if anything) and who they service through. Additionally, make sure to cancel your previous utilities before you start moving out towards your new state.
If you have any medical needs, look into pharmacies near your soon-to-be home. This is also a great time to figure out who your medical practitioners will be. Research different doctors and/or mental health professionals ahead of time so that you have one less thing to worry about once you’ve moved.
3.3 Exploring Your Neighborhood and Community
Once you’ve moved in and while you’re still settling, take time to familiarize yourself with your new surroundings. Explore your local amenities, parks, restaurants, and recreational areas.
Interested in exploring different hobbies or interests? Try looking at how you can get involved within your new community. Join clubs or groups, find a place that offers a skill you want to learn, and connect with folks to build new supports.
As we’ve moved, we’ve found local events by checking Instagram, reading flyers around town, and looking on Google Maps or Everywhere is Queer. One of our favorite ways to engage with Instagram while moving is by following local farmer’s market accounts! The first time we went to the local farmer’s market in Bellingham, WA, Elis cried. Tears of joy, evoked by the beautiful warmth and sense of community that farmers’ markets naturally have to offer. We highly encourage you to check out and support your local market(s) as well!
Part 4: Adjusting and Thriving in Your Space
4.1 Managing the Transition
“It was all a blur.” We’ve definitely reflected on various periods in our lives and used that phrase to describe them. Maybe you’ve felt that way about a time in your life. It can feel intimidating to pursue a period of change when a past transition period felt or feels like an overwhelming blur. Maybe parts of you tuned out in the process.
When moving to a new state, away from family/friends, tune in to what feelings come up for you. Homesickness, anxiety, loneliness, excitement, stress…these are all valid experiences. Be gentle with yourself as you settle into your new environment. It might take a minute for you to feel settled and secure.
Elis is a big feeler, especially when it comes to change. They’re accustomed to stuffing their big feelings, especially when it comes to change. During our first big move from Iowa to Washington, Khali was gently attentive to Elis and their feelings. During our moves, we seek intentional connection. We identify our social capacity and communicate as best we can in our relationship.
Scheduling calls with your family and friends can help you stay connected and avoid isolation. Sending postcards is another fun way to let your long distance loved ones know you’re thinking about them! Voice memos, texts, care packages; we love it all. Moving can allow you to explore your relationships in new and meaningful ways.
4.2 Building a Support System
Now that you’re in your new space, you have an opportunity to connect with new folks. Whether it’s new friendships, professional relationships at work, or finding others you have similar interests with, you can slowly begin building your local support system.
If you’ve moved alone, this is (in our opinion) a very important part of feeling at home in your new space! Building community allows you to connect with new people and try new things.
Mental health services are another way to build your support system. Especially with all this change, it can be very helpful to seek out additional help while you’re adjusting. Each time we’ve moved, Elis has put incredible effort into the continuation of their mental health care. They have established multiple therapists, psychiatrists and gender-affirming care providers along the way. You can do it too! Trust yourself, set yourself up for success, and take breaks when you need them. You’ve got this.
4.3 Continuing to Grow and Find Opportunities
A change in your environment can provide you with new opportunities. Embrace the opportunities for personal and professional development that come with a change in environment.
Set goals, explore new hobbies or interests, and challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone to fully immerse yourself in your new life. A new opportunity, connection, or adventure could be right around the corner.
Conclusion:
Moving out of state in your twenties can be a transformative experience that offers opportunities for growth, exploration, and self-discovery. By going into the process with careful planning, resourcefulness, and a gentle mindset, you can navigate potential challenges with confidence and flexibility. Remember to embrace the journey, stay open to new experiences, and make the most of this exciting chapter in your life. Good luck with the move!
