Moving states as a trans or queer person can be an exciting, exhausting, and stressful time in your life. If you’ve never moved out of your home state before, you should know that there are some additional things you have to consider as you become a resident of the new state. Moving states is stressful in itself, but can be especially stressful for us queer and/or trans folks. This list will provide a few things for you to consider to feel safer in your new space. So go grab a snack, take a deep breath, and get ready to make your move as painless as possible.
* This post is primarily for trans and/or queer folks who are moving states, therefore the topics mentioned are solely focused on this group. If you are interested in an entire guide on moving states, check out our post about Moving Out of State in Your Twenties.
1. Research Legal Protections and Policies
While you are still contemplating where to move, research what legal protections you may/may not have in a few different states. This is an unfortunate, but very realistic thing to keep in mind when considering your move. Some things to check into:
Anti-discrimination laws: Does the state have laws protecting you? Check to see if laws are against discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation in areas such as employment, housing, and public accommodations.
Name and gender marker change procedures: Learn about the process and requirements for changing your name and/or gender marker on legal documents like driver’s licenses, passports, and birth certificates. Less than half the states in the US allow you to change your gender marker on your driver’s license and/or birth certificate to an X, so make sure to check what states do allow this if it is necessary for you.
Healthcare access: Research whether there are any restrictions on accessing gender-affirming healthcare. This is important if you are interested in starting or continuing hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and/or a gender-affirming surgery while living in this new state.
You’ve got this! Just this part of the process takes time and patience. Please remember, you are worthy of having access to resources, healthcare, and protection; no matter what bigots say.
2. Update Legal Documents
Once you’ve familiarized yourself with the legal requirements in your potential new state, start the process of updating your legal documents. This may include:
Name change: If you haven’t legally changed your name yet, research the steps required in your new state. This typically involves filing a petition with the court, publishing a notice in a local newspaper, and/or attending a court hearing.
Gender marker change: Determine the process for updating your gender marker on identification documents. Requirements may vary from state to state and may include providing medical documentation or court orders.
Update records: If necessary, notify institutions (such as banks, schools, employers, and healthcare providers) of your name and/or gender marker changes. If you know for sure where you’ll be living, you can also start the process of transferring records to your new providers (more in point 4).
If this task feels overwhelming, take breaks and remember to fuel your body and brain with food and movement.
3. LGBTQ+ resources
Before your move, check to see what LGBTQ+ resources are available in the area. Are there organizations nearby that can support you and your needs? What social groups have been created for LGBTQ+ folks in the area? What type of LGBTQ+ informed healthcare is available?
Every state and town will vary widely in the resource bubble. For general LGBTQ+ friendly spaces, you can look on the Everywhere is Queer app. Don’t be shy towards researching online or even asking people on platforms such as Reddit to see what locals have to say about their LGBTQ+ resources. Moving states as a trans or queer person can feel scary – find your community and where you’ll feel safest!
4. Seek out new providers
Mental health professionals: Most therapists are licensed in one or two specific states, so you will most likely need to seek out a new therapist in the state you’re moving to. When we moved from Washington to Colorado Elis chose two or three potential therapists, chatted with them to see who felt like a good fit, then continued regular appointments once we moved.
Healthcare professionals: While looking for a new primary doctor and/or other healthcare professionals, check to see if they are LGBTQ+ friendly or knowledgeable of care towards LGBTQ+ folks. If you are pursuing hormone replacement therapy (HRT), double check that 1.) you have enough doses/refills to get you through your move and 2.) if you will be able to update your health insurance (if necessary) and pharmacy to continue your gender-affirming care.
If you are someone who relies on healthcare regularly, maybe weekly like Elis, even considering a change in your healthcare may bring up big feelings. This process can feel exhausting for some folks. Incorporate things that bring you peace or allows you to decompress from the stress. Your mind and body will thank you later.
5. Local LGBTQ+ spaces
A queer friendly town or city will most likely have some kind of LGBTQ+ events going on. If you can’t seem to find any events posted throughout the community, look into local bars to see if they host any drag events (such as drag brunch on weekends or drag bingo nights). Towns may also host a local Pride event during summer or fall, so keep an eye out for any flyers advertising for this fun and memorable event!
If you will live in an area where LGBTQ+ events are obsolete, see if you can host one yourself! Queer people are everywhere and you’d be surprised by how many are eager to connect with their community somehow. Plan an event, create flyers to post around town, or use an app such as Meetup to invite other queer folks. You can also utilize apps such as Bumble BFF to find friends in your community and then later host events or hangouts for everyone to meet each other. We have found countless LGBTQ+ groups on Facebook and utilize Instagram to help us find local events.
6. Understand Workplace Protections
If you’re moving states mainly based on employment reasons, understand your rights and protections as a trans or queer person. You deserve to feel comfortable in your new workplace. Check these things:
Company policies: Review your employer’s policies on diversity, inclusion, and anti-discrimination to ensure they align with your needs and values. If they don’t have anything in place, will you feel safe and seen?
State laws: Familiarize yourself with state laws regarding employment discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Again, you deserve to feel safe and comfortable where you live.
Employee resource groups: Seek out LGBTQ+ resource groups within your workspace for support and advocacy. If there isn’t one in place, suggest starting one to connect with other employees who may also be LGBTQ+ or an ally.
7. Research School and Education Policies (if applicable)
If you’re a current student or have school-aged children who are part of the LGBTQ+ community, you may want to research the policies and resources available in your new school district, such as:
Anti-bullying policies: Ensure the school has some kind of anti-bullying policies that protect LGBTQ+ students from harassment and discrimination. No matter who you are or how you identify, no school should ever tolerate bullying.
Gender-inclusive facilities: When moving states, look for schools that offer gender-neutral restrooms and changing facilities to accommodate trans and nonbinary students.
Support services: Inquire about counseling services, LGBTQ+ student organizations, and other support services available to LGBTQ+ students and their families. Nothing currently? Consider having a conversation with the school to see if you can help set something up. We know – being a trailblazer can be exhausting, but many folks will benefit from anything in place!
8. Explore Your New Home
Phew. Remember to have fun where you can during this potentially stressful moment of your life. We hope this list helps you navigate your relocation with confidence, resilience, and helpful resources. To build-up anticipation, check Google Maps or the Everywhere is Queer app and write down a few places you are looking forward to checking out once you’re in your new space. Congrats on your move, we hope you enjoy your new home!
